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If the Earth
were only a few feet in
diameter, floating a few feet above
a field somewhere, people would come
from everywhere to marvel at it. People would
walk around it marveling at its big pools of water,
its little pools and the water flowing between the pools.
People would marvel at the very thin layer of gas surrounding
it and the water suspended in the gas. The people would
marvel at all the creatures walking around the surface of the
ball, and at the creatures in the water.
The people would declare it as sacred because
it was the only one, and they would protect it so that it would not hurt. The ball would be the
greatest wonder known, and people would come to
pray to it, to be healed, to gain knowledge, to know
beauty and to wonder how it could be. People
would love it, and defend it with their lives
because they would somehow know that
their lives, their own roundness, could
be nothing without it. If the
Earth were only a few
feet in diameter.
-author unknown

change from time to time…
I consider this a necessary consequence of having an open mind.
This weblog is intended to provide a semi-permanent point in
time snapshot and manifestation of the various memes running
around my brain, and as such any thoughts and opinions expressed
within out-of-date posts may not the same, nor even similar,
to those I may hold today.

You ever been so gripped with fear that is stops you from doing something?

That's how I am right now and everyday of my life.

This blog is going to very personal for me so please save all negative comments and connotations for someone who truly wants to hear them.

My fear may seem silly for some but for me, its a very important part of my life.

My fear is my shyness.

Go ahead, insert laughter here....

Seriously, I am extremely shy. To the point where it has affected me from forming many valuable friendships. I'm not sure when this all began but as far back as I can remember, it's always been there. Always lurking, looming over my head.

I'd like to think of myself as a good person, one who is a great friend to those who have had patience with me and waited for me to warm up to them.

Unfortunately, most people don't have that kind of patience.

I always envy those people who are the center of attention, those who are so outgoing and seemingly carefree. I often wonder how they got to that point? Am I missing something that's supposed to be encrypted in my DNA?

People always talk of how they used to be so shy and how they just started talking to people and everyone just loved them and "boom!", instant popularity. I tend to look at those people like they have three heads.

And for the record, I don't want to be this social butterfly with scores and scores of friends. I am fully aware what having an extremely large circle can bring. I just would love to be able to jump into a conversation, start a conversation, without getting tongued tied or be grip with this immense fear of looking or saying something stupid.

I know for some, this blog may sound ridiculous and absurd but really, this is an anxiety of sorts and its difficult to overcome. I'm so tired of folks telling me to just talk, just be, just do it!

"Snap, pow, presto!" Instant cure......I don't think so.

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