Sunday, July 12, 2009, 3:11 PM
Dear Father
Dear Father,
Allow me to introduce myself. See, we've only met on a few occasions yet we share the same DNA. My name? Well, that's not important, just like it wasn't important to you to be in my life. I'd just thought that maybe, just maybe, you'd like to know a little about me.
I'm the product of your
relationship with my mother. When you left, you left a little something behind and that something was me. A living, breathing, testament to the type of things you could produce.
I have to say, nice job. Traces of you I find within me. And you know what? They're not all bad.
I do have some questions for you. I guess the most typical, standard question is why did you leave? Was I not enough for you? Was I not important enough? I know you and my mother had quite a stormy existence but does that means I was to suffer as well? Perhaps I'm not made to know.
Anyway, I am your mirror, there's denying me. No...."let's go on Maury cause I ain't sure..." type situation. I am your picture, the core that is you.
I've grown into a fantastic woman. Just thought you should know. I'm doing pretty well out here in this big world. Sounds corny? I know, but I think I get that from you.
You didn't miss much, just a little thing called my life. I really did need you at times....for guidance, for strength, for love.
I never got the chance to be
anybody's "Daddy's little girl." I would have like to know what meant. Can you
tell me? I'll wait.
So, I guess that it. I'll keep on growing and we'll keep up this awkward silence. I'll pretend to mean it when I say I love you and you'll continue to feed me those pipe dreams. We'll keep this charade up until the end. I mean, this is how you wanted it.......right?
"Love,"
Your reflection...
Monday, July 6, 2009, 6:02 PM
What about Michael Jackson......the human?
Ok...
So I saw that everyone ran and did blogs on this when Michael originally passed but due to technical difficulties (I like that more than saying I became distracted and lazy) I waited to do this blog today.
I've watched countless footage on the passing of Michael Jackson and as the days pass, folks are coming out of the wood works with all these claims and scandals.
My first issue is the repeated showing of his body being loaded into the coroner's van. Why must we, his loyal fans, see that over and over again? Most importantly, why must his family endure that?
The don't deserve to have their brother, their son's name dragged through the mud like this. They shouldn't have to see the paramedics trying to revive him plastered on every magazine.
I've always known the media could be heartless, but this time, they've really become vultures. I'm just so disgusted with the way they've been bringing up everything that has happened in this man's life.
Why wasn't this done to Ed and Farrah?
Everytime I ask that, folks tell me "Oh well, Mike was such a bigger star than Ed or Farrah."
To that I ask, and your point is?
This man is a human. Stop taking his family through all of this speculation, this drama. Stop making them relive his death and every other drama in his life. Can't we as a society have some kind of class, some heart, and let his fans....his family, mourn?
Before he shared his life with us, before the legacy and the music, he belonged to his famliy and now in death we should return him to them.
Turn off the cameras, stop the gossip, and let him rest in peace.
Thursday, July 2, 2009, 10:40 AM
BET = Epic Fail
Sigh.....where do I begin?
I think its safe to say that among other reasons, BET was started for the purpose of giving African-Americans a channel were they saw folks who looked like them and were going through the same trials and tribulations as they were. Shows like "Good Times," "Sanford and Son," and "The Jefferson's" allowed us to relate and gave us a chance to take our minds off our own troubles.
The idea was nice, I'll give it that but at the end of the day the bottom line is.....money.
Can we say buyout? Yep...the all mighty dollar became too powerful and BET was sold.
Let the coonery commence!
We now arrive to the present spectacle that is BET in today's age. Full of booty shaking videos and ghetto reality shows.
Now when I say ghetto....I do mean ghetto. Lord I knows I love my people, but some of us can act like straight fools.
And this is exactly what the new owners of BET want. They know if they put us on t.v. yelling, fighting, and being all types of crazy, it'll sell. People will watch.
And not just other African-Americans, no....surely not. Other races are watching us act out and this is where they get their outlandish ideas from. Where the stereotypes are formed. Its so perfectly clear.....so why does it seem like I'm the only one who sees it?
Shows like "College Hill," "Tiny and Toya," and "Neffie and Frankie" do not do us justice as a people. These shows depict us as coons to be perfectly honest. As if we as a race lack class, dignity, and the ability to act accordingly in public.
It truly disturbs me to see what this channel has become, so far from the channel it once was. And it saddens me beyond means that instead of there being an outcry from the black community, we actually tune in and watch this garbage....feed into it like we can't get enough.
We're promoting our own self destruction. Simple.
I've said this before in a previous blog, we've got to wake up people! Open up our eyes to the way our culture, our self respect, is being tore down before our eyes.
Friday, June 26, 2009, 11:37 AM
Hey you in the corner!
You ever been so gripped with fear that is stops you from doing something?
That's how I am right now and everyday of my life.
This blog is going to very personal for me so please save all negative comments and connotations for someone who truly wants to hear them.
My fear may seem silly for some but for me, its a very important part of my life.
My fear is my shyness.
Go ahead, insert laughter here....
Seriously, I am extremely shy. To the point where it has affected me from forming many valuable friendships. I'm not sure when this all began but as far back as I can remember, it's always been there. Always lurking, looming over my head.
I'd like to think of myself as a good person, one who is a great friend to those who have had patience with me and waited for me to warm up to them.
Unfortunately, most people don't have that kind of patience.
I always envy those people who are the center of attention, those who are so outgoing and seemingly carefree. I often wonder how they got to that point? Am I missing something that's supposed to be encrypted in my DNA?
People always talk of how they used to be so shy and how they just started talking to people and everyone just loved them and "boom!", instant popularity. I tend to look at those people like they have three heads.
And for the record, I don't want to be this social butterfly with scores and scores of friends. I am fully aware what having an extremely large circle can bring. I just would love to be able to jump into a conversation, start a conversation, without getting tongued tied or be grip with this immense fear of looking or saying something stupid.
I know for some, this blog may sound ridiculous and absurd but really, this is an anxiety of sorts and its difficult to overcome. I'm so tired of folks telling me to just talk, just be, just do it!
"Snap, pow, presto!" Instant cure......I don't think so.
Thursday, June 18, 2009, 6:14 PM
New Housewives.....Glitz, Glamour, and Drama
So today I was forced by my gf to watch the show called "Real Housewives of New Jersey."
I cringed every ten seconds.
Granted, I've seen the other installments of this show. I've come to the conclusion that it's all a bunch of bullshit.
These women are supposed to be the creme of the crop. Well educated women with providing husbands and have been given an opportunity to live the lavish life.
Class, poise, something to inspire to......wrong.
This women proved to be nothing but gossiping, bickering women with nothing else better to do with their lives.
What really do they have to say to for themselves? What sets them apart from the average hoodrat or trailer trash bimbo? Nothing apparently but a little glitter here and there.
Guess the old saying is true, "Everything that glitters, ain't gold."
Why would we as women allow television to show us in this light? To play right into the stereotypes that women are nothing but gossips who stir up drama?
I've said this before, and I'll say it again. We really have to do better. What are we leaving as a legacy for our children? When they look back in the history books, what will they see?
If we continue down this path and not try to reverse the damage, it won't be a pretty picture.
Come on world, let's pick our pen, pencils, and erasers. Let's give our future a real story!
Sunday, June 14, 2009, 3:33 PM
Homosexuality - Taboo In The African American Culture
Even with all the progress we've made in the LGBT community, homosexuality is still very much a taboo subject among African Americans.
Why is this? Why must we as black people, make things so hard for ourselves?
Especially our black males. It seems that it is a sign of weakness to be a black gay man. Shunned by society and worse yet, their own families.
Blacks would rather hide our own children, or disown them rather than embrace them.....and love them unconditionally.
Though......I thought that's the way things were supposed to happen. Isn't that.......normal?
I couldn't imagine going through something like that. To be despised from the very people who are supposed to bring me comfort. That share the same blood as I do.
It saddens me that there are so many black lesbians and gays out there, alone in the world....without a family, simply because of who they love and choose to spend their life with.
I'm truly grateful that the people who I cherish the most, love me regardless of whose in my bed. Anyone else, well....they have to deal with that. Not me.
We as a people have got to do better. We need to realize that homosexuality exists and there are gays and lesbians in our own families. They are not to be thrown away or forgotten, but embraced, cherish, and loved.
Thursday, June 11, 2009, 7:20 PM
16 And Pregnant
So MTV is premiering a new show called "16 and Pregnant" tonight. I am a bit disturbed by this.
I know they are showing both the good and the bad of this epidemic but I still don't think they should have a show like this on the air.
Its already bad enough that as a society, the majority of our young girls are pregnant or has had one kid or more by the age of 16. Recently, I read in a report that most Hispanic females are pregnant by 15!
I just don't see the real good out of this show. We shouldn't let the television teach our kids. We should turn it off and teach them ourselves!
In my opinion, this show should be taken off the air. Why make money showing the mistakes of some wayward teen?
I have to question the parents of these teens as well. What is your real motive behind exploiting your child on national tv? Money?
They say that money is the root of all evil.....